Where Do You Keep Your Offshore Money?

Where do you keep your offshore money?

The media is all upset about celebs, politicians, etc. having money in various offshore places, in order to avoid taxes. Naturally, and totally expectedly, this is very hypocritical since said media seems to also squirrel money away offshore, and the journalists almost certainly have some of their pension money there too. Corbyn is also upset and wants the Queen to apologise for having some money in the Caymans…even though the Caymans are a British Overseas Territory, so it seems entirely appropriate of Her Majesty.

Despite nothing illegal necessarily having been done, one can see which way the wind is blowing. Avoiding taxes comes under the umbrella of “Inappropriate Behaviour.” And to minimize the effects of lefty mob hysteria one ought to a) preemptively come clean and b) check into some facility for a cure. Coincidentally, my middle names are Inappropriate and Behaviour.


a) I have some money on the Isle of Man. Totally legally. Taking advantage of certain tax rules. It is not much, just housekeeping money really. [Ed: Mustn’t say that. Housekeeping money to one person could be another family’s entire life’s earnings. Not to mention it suggests housewives, gender inequality, patriarchal society, privilege,…] I also had some money in Bermuda a while back, for reasons of symmetry.

b) I shall take out a subscription to the Guardian newspaper immediately. I see that they have a fascinating article online “End these offshore games or our democracy will die.” That seems to hit the right note of lefty hysteria. If I can just read that without laughing. And if I can stomach that the Guardian itself avoids taxes by running big deals though the Cayman Islands then maybe I’ll learn their valuable skill of hypocrisy. [See https://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2016/04/will-the-guardian-now-investigate-its-own-tax-arrangements/]

I feel much better already.